James Wood Photography

If you want a beautiful city to photograph, why not try Paris? History literally everywhere. A surprisingly bloodthirsty history at that, these people don’t mind whipping off a head or two if it suits them. But that’s mostly in the past.

Would you like a story? Of course you would. So we’re on the train to Paris from the airport. First hour in France, and some dude tried to steal my friend Emma’s suitcase.

We stopped him. Turns out he wasn’t stealing it at all. He was the distraction for his mate, who was stealing MY bag — the one with my iPad, MacBook air, Nikon D3s, house-and-car keys. By the time I noticed it had gone, so had they; the train doors had closed.

Em said “go after them!”

It hadn’t occurred to me that I could hit the button and reopen the doors! So I did. Took off running, wondering what I was going to do, and not really coming up with a plan. What are you supposed to say to someone who has taken all your stuff? Luckily I still had my passports and wallet, but I was very aware of the fact that I was now chasing thieves with my remaining valuables in my pockets. Hmm.

I saw the jerks down the other end of the platform, walking away as if nothing was up. I yelled “HEY! STOP!” in perfect textbook English. But they didn’t. The one with my bag put it down and ran.

I picked it up and had time to get back on the train.

Australia: 1, France: 0.

So I got my bag back with no punches or any real trouble, just lots of running, yelling and adrenaline. He didn’t throw it, which at the time struck me as a nice touch. Everything is fine and now we know their method. Jerks.